5 ways to stay “cool” when meeting your EX’s current girlfriend

I knew my Ex has a girlfriend and I felt a slight pang when I saw them on facebook, I thought “well that’s normal since we both had fun playing should we or shouldn’t we take the plunge”. I realized he was not my forever because we were never on the same page; fuck we were at different chapters he was still at chapter 7 and I was at chapter 34.

Despite the fact that we respect each other I wasn’t ready to see him but we had the same group of friends (side note: don’t date a friend) thus seeing him is inevitable. Last night I saw him with his girlfriend at my friend’s house even if both of us wanted to leave immediately. We both played it “cool” and I like to believe I played it “cool” better.

Smile and greet them.

First reaction is always the giveaway. Even if you think he had downgraded because the girl has humungous teeth and literally a big head or he has found a catch because you can’t help notice how flat her tummy is, how perky her boobs are and how smart she is because of her fancy medical school; just smile and greet them like you normally do.

Don’t sound like a bitter ex-girlfriend.

Yes, you could have drop the “one man trash is another man’s treasure” line but don’t— please don’t say it.

Do make small talks

Don’t ignore them everybody can feel the elephant in the room the best way to break it is talk to them. I know it hurts every time you see his arms wrapped around her tiny waist or the way she makes him laugh; shake those off and ask her name and what she does. Even if you already know based on your mad social media stalking skills that she has a pet cat and she dyed her hair pink in the summer of ‘09 or that she’s good at baking and school, she’s practically a hybrid of Martha Stewart and Marie Curie.

Don’t brag but give subtle hints that you’re seeing people.

The first thought I had when I saw them is I should brag about Guy Y so that my ex would know I’m back in the game and moved on but I didn’t, I just mentioned that I’m dating and taking things slow.

Find humor in the situation

You have two choices act like the situation is bothering you or laugh it off. My asshole friend told my ex’s girlfriend if he knows who I am instead of acting like a sourpuss and give a stink eye, I turned it around and mentioned I was the crazy ex and joked about how awkward the situation is. Everybody laughed and the tension was gone. Finding humor in situations like that is essential especially if you know that the setting right now stings just pretend you find it funny and eventually it will be something you’ll genuinely laugh about.

Fall 101: The Island Girl’s Guide to Fall.

Living in a tropical country is the best! But sometimes humidity and heat takes its toll even for a beach lover like me. So when my family planned to go to South Korea this fall, the first thing I thought “Oh Sh*t this will be cold” because the last time I’ve experienced fall was in New Zealand and damn that was hell for me.

So here are the things island girls should remember during Fall: 

Basic Mismatched

 Don’t be afraid to do mismatch, the safe way to incorporate two different patterns is do the same color palate. I bought the jacket at Myongdong (Korea’s Shopping mecca) and it was love at first sight!

 
Mismatched Madness

Mismatched Madness

Jacket: Myongdong 
Skirt: Topshop
Socks: Forever 21
Shoes: Thai Market
Bag: Nine West

Autumn Colors

Autumn colors looks good in everyone, just think of orange and red. As a huge Scooby Doo fan I did a Velma Inspired outfit.

Autumn Colors
Autumn Colors
 Jacket: Ukay Ukay (Thrift Store) Got it for 200 Pesos!
Dress: Uniqlo
Bag: Myongdong Market
Tights: Forever 21
Scarf: Davao’s Aldevinco
Shoes: Hand me downs

Wrapped it up! (Think Blair Waldorf)

 Tights and scarfs are your best friend! Oh also knitted dresses.

Blue's Clues

Blue’s Clues

 (sorry for the resolution, I used my iphone the entire time I was there)
Dress: Mongkok Market
Bag: Myongdong Matrket
Tights: Forever 21
Boots: Hand me downs
Scarf: Promod

 

Show me the Bold

Don’t limit yourself with Autumn colors go bold! Wear anything you want! Just don’t forget your scarf and tights!

Show me the Bold

Show me the Bold

Dress: Zara
Bag: Myongdong Market
Scarf: Promod
Boots: Hand me down
Jacket: Ukay Ukay

 

I had so much fun dressing up in South Korea and the people there are oh so fashionable. Will be posting some on the fashion pieces I’ve picked up in Korea and the places and foods to eat soon! Bye for now.

XOXO

F

Catch me if you can: The Ups and Downs of the chasing someone that’s not into you.

The feeling of chasing someone that’s clearly is not into you is like an addicting drug. First you’ve gain interest on the subject. Research about it, get fascinated, and entirely be consumed with the thought of it. You started create countless scenarios on your wedding day or your anniversary or even the warm snuggles on a rainy day. Then you’ve gathered enough courage to tell him your feelings but he didn’t feel the same way. You stopped for a while, feeling devastated but the devastation turned into determination. You have to have him. The more he became emotionally unavailable the more interested you have become. Eventually, complaining to your friends on how you’re questioning your self-worth and they’ll console you tell you to stop this addiction. You thank them for realizing he’s not worth it but eventually a text from him will put you back into the downward spiral you’ve created. Words like “He’ll come around and he’ll think of me as a prize..eventually or I’m his last destination he’ll realize that” will always come into your head. Here you are again the adrenaline of the chase it feels like an emotional marathon but the finish line is far from over but you’re enjoying it because you know this all worth it in the end.

Optimistic you are at the outcome.

Then the moment has come; he said he loves you too.

Those words you’ve been wanting to hear has finally came. His devotion for you is uncanny. But suddenly the addiction also stopped like when you’re taking too much cocaine you don’t feel the kick anymore. That’s what happened to you.

When he returned the love, the chase is over and you’re not sure if you wanted it to end. The moment he said those words you lost interest. The scenarios you’ve created in your head has now turned into a reality and you love the idea more than the actual thing. Suddenly you realized you were addicted to the chase but disappointed with the outcome. You even hate the way he gets toothpaste from the tube (you push it at the bottom not at the middle). You’re sorry you really are, you made him think you love him but in fact you’re just confuse and bored you have so much energy you gave it all on him. Now you’re compelled to continue this because the guilt of making someone fall in love with you and realizing you don’t love him back is just a horrible thought, one day you’ll break-up with him but maybe not today.

Having a depression in a country that’s known for being happy.

Philippines is a place that’s full of life, quirks and has unending energy. In the country where we see depression or even seeking a psychiatrist as an act of being crazy. This is country where everybody smiles and welcomes you with open arms. Having a depression in a country that’s known for being happy despite being poor is hard to accept.

I’ve been battling with my inner demon as young as 9 years old I didn’t know it at first but I knew I was sad and I always think about ending my life just to end my sadness. I had a happy childhood I was just not a happy child. When I was 9, I just came back from a 3 day camp and it was one of the happiest days of my life. But when I returned home I realize that I was too happy, I got scared because I might not feel this kind of happiness anymore so took a handful of pills just to end my life. Nothing happened because those were just vitamin c tablets and I just fell asleep the entire day, nobody knew I attempted to kill myself because they thought I was just too tired from camp. As I grew up I got sadder and sadder. Everyday has been and struggle to me and the feeling of smiling when you’re sad it felt like Manny Pacquiao punching my insides and the inner battle gets very tiring.

I asked for help in my junior year in high school because now I wasn’t only battling with sadness but also anorexia. Just going to the guidance office to ask for help is hard because I know there were only 2 types of kids who go there; the kids who did bad and those teacher’s pet who wanted extra credits. I went inside and told my story I felt like layers of clothes stripped off me, minute by minute I felt more and more vulnerable at the end of the session I felt bare. I left the room feeling lighter but more confuse because my anxiety has now taken its toll I would think; what if they see me as a weak person? What if the guidance counselor thought I was acting out? Depression is taboo in the Philippines, what if they think I was just looking for attention? Those questions consumed me entirely and I was back at being depress. I avoided my guidance counselor. I tried my best to focus on doing good in school and help in the school’s charity programs, little by little I was getting better I even thought maybe I was just acting out and asking for attention. I started to believe depression is nonsense and Filipinos never get depress because it’s in our culture to always be happy.

Then a year ago, I started struggling with balancing my work and personal life. I felt like life is getting more and more out of control and the pressure is always at my back. I started my childish adolescent pattern again and this time I thought drinking would help. Then one Wednesday night as I failed to open a jar of nata de coco (my favorite) something as petty as that I felt hopeless and weak, the demons inside me knew that this was my breaking point. I sat at the edge of my 26nd floor apartment balcony ready to end everything. As I was about to end it the phone rang and I realize this was a mistake. I started acknowledging my depression.

I asked for help because I knew I cannot do this alone. Talked to a few people about it and learned that pain and suffering is inevitable but so is happiness. I am still battling depression up until this point and this battle might be never ending but I know that this time just acknowledging it and doing something about it can greatly help me. Just knowing that depression can happen to anyone even the happiest of race.

3 Realizations after my blind dates

I’ve been single since God knows when, there were meet-ups and dating. But after my nonexistent relationship was cut short and my recent breakdown I thought I knew I was ready for love. I told one of my friends about it and she suggested a blind date. She said she knew a guy looking for love, an architecture student and his in her boyfriend’s band. The old me would pass that up because I hate not having to know or even facebook search my date but if I wanted to meet my soul mate, I should leave my comfort zone.

He wanted to meet up at a local underground bar. For starters I’m not an underground rock band type of girl, I’m more on a coffee shop type. But since I wanted to take the risk why not?! In a sea full of black and grey outfits I was the only one who wore a white floral mini skirt and a bubble gum yellow top. Then I saw him. He’s a 6 foot 130 pound guy who has a mustache and 2 tunnel earrings with a steam punk meets Ivy League outfit not my usual dates but why not take a risk. After a 3 hours of loud music, warm beer and a crowd of crazy mosh pit, I knew this won’t work.

I told my friend about the date and she introduced me to another guy. This time he was a clean cut, non-smoking Christian guy who could definitely pass as a J. Crew model. He was nice and charming but something was missing. I also knew this won’t work.

After those dates I analyzed myself and figured that the problem is not the Church Goer Guy or the Underground Rock Dude, I was the problem. Here are my 3 realizations:

 

When you’re not open, it won’t work.

 

I really thought I was comfortable with blind dates or the idea if meeting someone but I know at the back of my mind I’m not yet ready. I really regret those dates because it could have been the best dates of my life but I wasn’t emotionally ready yet even if I force it to be.

 

It’s okay to be single for a while, no need to rush.

 

When I realized I wasn’t open for a relationship and the thought of possibly be heartbroken again is not something I’m at ease with. I should learn to deal with my issues and my self-destructive self before barging in to someone else’s life.

 

Keep looking for the spark.

 

I prayed for a nice guy who will treat me well and both of my blind dates seemed like good guys but I wasn’t interested, the entire night I was looking at their flaws and focusing on them. I had a hard time finding a flaw with the Church Goer but at the end even if I was having so much fun I was missing the spark and I knew that was the end.

Rabbit inside my head.

I could only see you though the flickering lights even just a glimpse of your face ignites the feelings I have towards you. I’ve always wanted to tell you that I adore you but the rabbit inside my head reminded me what happened the last time I fell in love; “he is just like the last guy, remember what happened before” my rabbit kept saying. As the music plays and you telling to me about your philosophical ideas, I was battling with my mind and the rabbit was winning. Giving me instances on why I shouldn’t say what I wanted to say. My rabbit was pointing out your quirks like the way you bite your nails, the way you’re unsure about your future, your obsessive fascinations with the supernatural and your unapologetic nose picking. I decided not to tell you at that point giving myself a mental note on why I don’t like you then as I was about to raise my white flag in defeat; you smiled at me, you don’t look like James Dean but I knew you are my James Dean and I was willing to accept those flaws my rabbit kept aiming. The lyrics of Momus song perfectly sums up my feelings towards you.

 

I like you, and I’d like you to like me to like 

 But I don’t need you

Don’t need you to want me to like you

Because if you didn’t like me      

I would still like you, you see

La la la

 La la la

 

The song was playing in my head over and over again. The battle with the rabbit continues and this time I had Momus to back me up. I took another shot of tequila and told you how I felt. It wasn’t poetic nor romantic because I couldn’t organize my thoughts maybe because of the tequila or the tiny elephants running in my heart. I told you that I like you so much but I’m not sure if I like you all the time that sounded stupid but it was the exact feelings I have towards you. I really hoped that you like me too but you said you wanted to find yourself first and that was a fucking lame excuse. I was shattered inside but I didn’t show it, I pretended to brush it off and enjoyed the night. My rabbit was right and he was proud of it; I thought I won the battle but I got tarnished in the end. I told my rabbit one day you’ll see, I’ll find someone and I’ll prove you wrong.

6 Reasons why you shouldn’t date your Officemate.

Before I write the reasons let me apologize. I’ve posted 1 entry in this blog, I know Sarah is the only reason people are still reading this blog and I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more active in this site because I’ve been busy is my (other) writings. Instead of fashion and items, I’ll be posting relationship advise and my own personal love mishaps.

movie_tune_in_with_tom_hansens_wesc_stash_bongo_headphones_from_500_days_of_summer_003

 

If it won’t work out it will be awkward.

You have 50/50 chances of this relationship will work out. Mine didn’t and now everything is so awkward I’m loathing it. You’ll strategically think of plans on not bumping to him at the pantry, not to mention the elevator situations will always be a torture you’ll start to think — since when did reaching the 17th floor felt like an eternity.

You’ll still be undeniably attracted to him but you can’t show it.

You’re the first one to notice his new shirt or that he just got a really nice haircut. You want to jump right to him and give him the kiss of a lifetime but you remembered you just broke up. Even if you’re compelled to complement him you cannot, you’d rather chew your own leg then tell him he looks hot.

NO MORE LUNCH BUDDIES

In my situation we were both newbies and we instantly became lunch buddies. Now that we’ve separated he now eats alone and I’m still in search for people who I could have lunch with. I will forever think of him every time I see a grilled cheese sandwich. He ruined grilled cheese for me.

Dating game.

The game is simple the first one to have a date wins, sadly I lost. When I heard he’s dating that cute intern on the 3rd floor I was furious. I begun to pry on them from afar and checking her facebook like nobody’s business. I’ve now started a hobby on mocking her duck face selfies while chugging on a glass of cheap wine and I don’t know when will this stop.

Rumormongers

When you were both together you hated their guts because they gossip about you like you were freaking Brad and Angelina now you still hate them but at the same time you want to hear the latest gossip they have on your Ex.

Mixing business with pleasure

You just got the job you’ve always dreamed of and your boss is an angel but after the break-up the idea of going to work is nerve racking. Both of you don’t want to leave the office so you’ll both settle seeing each other and pretend everything is alright.

Overrated Boracay?

Some say Boracay is overrated and there are tons of beaches better than Boracay, I personally believe that the “isla” as the locals call it is more than just a beach. I’ve been going to Boracay countless times but it always seems to surprise me I think what makes Boracay stand out than the rest of the beaches in the Philippines is the extra oomph but I just can’t seem to pin point what it is.

Is it the powder white sand?

The wild and crazy night life

Perhaps the world class sunset?

Or maybe its the people that you’re with.

Whatever it is Boracay has always been the top of my list. Whether you want to just chill by the beach and watch the sun go down or you would rather party hard and go home when the sun goes up. Boracay is definitely a must see.

YOU GOT ME AT FANCY

I’ve always wanted a statement accessory, imaging myself pulling off an LBD and a one of a kind necklace–hopefully I will and won’t end up looking like a Christmas tree. So a month ago while walking around SM Megatrade hall for the cultural bazaar showcasing different products from all parts of the Philippines with no intention of buying (all I wanted is piyaya), I stumble upon my soul mate–okay not my soul mate, but I do believe it’s close to having one. I saw it! I saw her, Agetha my statement piece. She’s everything I wanted and more, all I wanted is a turquoise necklace but with the fancy agate (hence the name Agetha) I knew I was sold! I haven’t tried the LBD with the necklace yet but hopefully in the near future I shall woooo people with the help of Agetha.

P.S Sorry for the delay post, I promise to post more in the near future and please be gentle with the negativity because I have no idea what I’m doing. And yes I do name my stuff and sometimes talk to them.