5 ways to stay “cool” when meeting your EX’s current girlfriend

I knew my Ex has a girlfriend and I felt a slight pang when I saw them on facebook, I thought “well that’s normal since we both had fun playing should we or shouldn’t we take the plunge”. I realized he was not my forever because we were never on the same page; fuck we were at different chapters he was still at chapter 7 and I was at chapter 34.

Despite the fact that we respect each other I wasn’t ready to see him but we had the same group of friends (side note: don’t date a friend) thus seeing him is inevitable. Last night I saw him with his girlfriend at my friend’s house even if both of us wanted to leave immediately. We both played it “cool” and I like to believe I played it “cool” better.

Smile and greet them.

First reaction is always the giveaway. Even if you think he had downgraded because the girl has humungous teeth and literally a big head or he has found a catch because you can’t help notice how flat her tummy is, how perky her boobs are and how smart she is because of her fancy medical school; just smile and greet them like you normally do.

Don’t sound like a bitter ex-girlfriend.

Yes, you could have drop the “one man trash is another man’s treasure” line but don’t— please don’t say it.

Do make small talks

Don’t ignore them everybody can feel the elephant in the room the best way to break it is talk to them. I know it hurts every time you see his arms wrapped around her tiny waist or the way she makes him laugh; shake those off and ask her name and what she does. Even if you already know based on your mad social media stalking skills that she has a pet cat and she dyed her hair pink in the summer of ‘09 or that she’s good at baking and school, she’s practically a hybrid of Martha Stewart and Marie Curie.

Don’t brag but give subtle hints that you’re seeing people.

The first thought I had when I saw them is I should brag about Guy Y so that my ex would know I’m back in the game and moved on but I didn’t, I just mentioned that I’m dating and taking things slow.

Find humor in the situation

You have two choices act like the situation is bothering you or laugh it off. My asshole friend told my ex’s girlfriend if he knows who I am instead of acting like a sourpuss and give a stink eye, I turned it around and mentioned I was the crazy ex and joked about how awkward the situation is. Everybody laughed and the tension was gone. Finding humor in situations like that is essential especially if you know that the setting right now stings just pretend you find it funny and eventually it will be something you’ll genuinely laugh about.


Catch me if you can: The Ups and Downs of the chasing someone that’s not into you.

The feeling of chasing someone that’s clearly is not into you is like an addicting drug. First you’ve gain interest on the subject. Research about it, get fascinated, and entirely be consumed with the thought of it. You started create countless scenarios on your wedding day or your anniversary or even the warm snuggles on a rainy day. Then you’ve gathered enough courage to tell him your feelings but he didn’t feel the same way. You stopped for a while, feeling devastated but the devastation turned into determination. You have to have him. The more he became emotionally unavailable the more interested you have become. Eventually, complaining to your friends on how you’re questioning your self-worth and they’ll console you tell you to stop this addiction. You thank them for realizing he’s not worth it but eventually a text from him will put you back into the downward spiral you’ve created. Words like “He’ll come around and he’ll think of me as a prize..eventually or I’m his last destination he’ll realize that” will always come into your head. Here you are again the adrenaline of the chase it feels like an emotional marathon but the finish line is far from over but you’re enjoying it because you know this all worth it in the end.

Optimistic you are at the outcome.

Then the moment has come; he said he loves you too.

Those words you’ve been wanting to hear has finally came. His devotion for you is uncanny. But suddenly the addiction also stopped like when you’re taking too much cocaine you don’t feel the kick anymore. That’s what happened to you.

When he returned the love, the chase is over and you’re not sure if you wanted it to end. The moment he said those words you lost interest. The scenarios you’ve created in your head has now turned into a reality and you love the idea more than the actual thing. Suddenly you realized you were addicted to the chase but disappointed with the outcome. You even hate the way he gets toothpaste from the tube (you push it at the bottom not at the middle). You’re sorry you really are, you made him think you love him but in fact you’re just confuse and bored you have so much energy you gave it all on him. Now you’re compelled to continue this because the guilt of making someone fall in love with you and realizing you don’t love him back is just a horrible thought, one day you’ll break-up with him but maybe not today.